Archive for the ‘events’ Category

IML Sunday – contest

Sunday, June 5th, 2011

Sunday, I slept in. It was around 10:00 when I woke up.

Dakota and Kim had already had breakfast. I was about to head out when Dana texted and he and I walked over to Houlihans for their brunch. We ran into a couple of guys the, and the four of us had breakfast together. It was quite fun!

After that, we returned to the hotel, and I spent some time talking with different folks before heading down to the vender mart to put my name on the list for the bootblacks and to vote my ticket.

There was certainly a lot of time to wait, so I took advantage of that and wandered around the vendor mart to look at what everyone was offering. At various points, I wandered by myself, and with others. Never did get my boots done! But I did cast my ballot. I will look forward to experiencing Jim another time.

I met up withKD, International Ms Bootblack, and we went up to the Mama’s fundraiser in the SECC room. It was fun hanging out for a bit before we had to move on to our next commitment, helping Sara International Ms Leather with her luggage.

Once that was accomplished, Kd And I had some time to hang out before we needed to get ready for the contest. She is a great person to sit around and talk with. Thank you KD for a wonderful afternoon!

Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for the contest. We dressed in high holy cow, and made our way downstairs. After a quick stop at the bar for a drink, we headed down and Dakota, Kim and I walked to the venue — it was just behind the hotel, so wasn’t very far.

We sat with Mama Sandy and a few other folks.

The contest was great. Made more so by the number of people on stage who I consider to be friends and family. I practically screamed myself horse when California too 4 of the top 20 positions, and then finished the job as different people i knew were also called!

It was a great top 20, and I enjoyed watching all of them on stage.

We took some good pictures of Dakota, Louie and me!

After the contest, we were taken up to the press room – thank you Liza and Jodi for your help in getting us there!

Once in the press room, we were able to get pictures with International Mr Leather, Eric Gutierez, a hot and incredibly sweet man, as well as get picture of Anthony and “D” 2nd and 1st runner up, respectively. We also got pictures of Jim Duder, International Mr Bootblack.

After that, we headed back to the hotel to change, and then I spent the rest of the evening with Morgaine, Mid Atlantic Leatherwoman, Brandon, and Loki. We decided to order pizza, and hung out in Morgaine’s room talking about anything and everything. What a fun evening!

At some point, I fell asleep on Loki. Eventually he woke me up and we headed downstairs for a “last cigarette” of the evening. We wound up staying down there until the sun was just coming up.

I headed to my room sand promptly fell asleep. 4 hours later, I was up and walked Dakota and Kim downstairs so they could get a taxi to the subway station. After that, I wandered around for a little while in the vendor mart, picking up a couple of different things and attending the press conference.

Scooby called and I told him about my weekend! After we talked, I met up with Brandon and we spent a fun couple of hours together.

I met up with Chris from San Francisco for dinner. Time flew. I could not believe that we sat there talking for almost 2 1/2 hours about topic under the sun!

We returned to the hotel, and I head dot my room to get ready for the Black and Blue ball. Then downstairs to hang out and talk with folks. I headed over to the dance, did my circuit, met one of the producers for Southwest Leather, and also met the producer for Mr Phoenix leather. We talked a bit a out ABW before I decided it was time to go since I had an “early” flight.

Back at the hotel, my good night smoke stretched out as I talked with some of my very favorite people. I laughed so hard that my sides were hurting by the time I got back to my room.

I finished packing a few more things, then laid down. I was going to try to do some blogging, but I could barely see the screen. I fell asleep almost immediately.

IML Saturday – Pecs and Personality

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Kim and Dakota were smart. They went to bed around midnight, so they were up and raring to go at 8:30 in the morning. Apparently I was supposed to get up because even as quiet as they were, I still woke up.

We got dressed, and headed out in search of food. Along the way, Rich Stadmiller joined up with us, and it was a small parade of folks! We decided that we wanted bagels, but the only thing they had close to the hotel was a place that served “squagels”, square bagels. As we were ordering, Mama Sandy texted Dakota, and we picked her up one as well.

We headed back to the hotel with our food, and went to Mama Sandy’s room and had breakfast.

From there, we wandered around for a bit, and then I met up with Randy, Bob and Jim for lunch, then went to a cigar social at a local cigar shop.

While we were there, one of the locals came in and looked me up and down. They asked if I came on my Harley, and without thinking, I replied “Not yet.” I thought the staff were going to fall over they were laughing so hard!

It was a fun time, and thanks to Rob, who took some good shots of me enjoying a cigar!

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After that, we headed back to the hotel. I headed down to the vendor mart, and didn’t make it but two booths, before again, I was busy talking with friends.

A special thank you to Off Ramp Leathers for giving me a new leather medallion strap for my ABW medallion!

I met up with Randy again for dinner. We headed to Buca DI Beppo for dinner, along with Bob and Jim again. We met up with 15 other folks there. The room we ate in had religious artwork and a bust of the pope in the center. We played around a bit with the bust of the pope, Bob took this great picture of the bust where the reflection actually created a symbolence of a cross. It was really a cool picture! We also put one of the contestant medallions on him and took additional pictures with various different items that folks had on them. I don’t think i have laughed so much at a dinner in a long time. The wit staff was phenomenal, and I think enjoyed themselves as well.

Thank you Lady Justice for organizing the dinner.

I started getting a head ache, and took some aspirin. That evening, it was Pecs and Personalities. I still had my head ache, so was drinking slot of water. It was actualy a fortunate thing, since I headed to the bathroom right before the beginning of this portion of the contest. While i was in there, I ran into Mr Ottawa Leather2003. He had a wardrobe malfunction with the zipper on his chaps, and I was able to help him get them fixed. Unfortunately, in the process the zipper lost a tooth, so hfe was going to have to be careful from that point on.

returning to my seat, I watched the contest, but with my headache it was sometimes difficult to follow along. We listened to 53 men stand in their jocks and answer a humorous question. It was a great time. Unfortunately, about half way through the contest evening, my head ache lifted, and. Discovered I was exhausted. If I did not take a break, I was going to fall asleep. So i headed out to smoke, and that helped me immensely.

I returned to the contest to disco err that I had missed 4 of the people I really wanted to watch and listen to. My apologies to Alex, Mr Maryland Leather, Tim, Mr Connecticut Leather, Scruffy, Mr New Jersey Leather and “D” Mr Mid Atlantic Leather.

The pecs and personalities contest was a lot of fun. And when it w over, it was time to get out of high holy cow and down to some fun parties!

On my way out from the contest, I stopped by Woof Camp, with JB, Mr Hays Valley Leather. It was fun to watch the puppies, but I found myself thinking of my own puppy, and missing him, so I made a quiet exit. Of course, Scooby had called me right before Pecs and Personalities, so I was already missing him.

On the way to Onyx, I ran into boy Chris, American Leatherboy 2008, aka grandpa :). We chatted for a minute before he went off in search of his Daddy and I headed towards Onyx. I do need to apologize to the Windy City Boys troop for missing their event Sat afternoon, for some reason I thought that it was Sunday!

The men from Onyx through a fantastic party! Unfortunately I didn’t want my headache to come back so after putting in an appearance there, I headed out. I was on the way back to my room when I passed by a guy I had met that morning, who was distraught because he had lost his wallet. I worked with him to notify the hotel, and then the Onyx folks to keep an eye out for his wallet, then was again, working with him to remember what room he was in. That was when he was describing how he lost his wallet. He was wearing thigh high Wescos, and had put his wallet in the leg of one. I stopped him at that point, patted him down, and found his wallet. He was a little inebriated, so I put him to bed and made him promise to call me in the morning,because he was feeling so ashamed about what happened.

I headed back to the Onyx party to let them know we had found his wallet, and then notified the hotel of the same thing.

From there, I went back to the other tower, and spent the rest of the night hanging out and talking with people. I was surprised to see that, again, it was almost 4:00 am before I finally went to bed.

IMsL

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

For IMsL this year, I was asked to be the assistant talley master for the IMsBB competition. In case you don’t know what that is, it stands for International Ms Bootblack competition.

I agreed, knowing that this would be a two year commitment. Next year, I will be the head talley master.

I got my schedule of events, and discover that I needed to be at the hotel no later than 11:00 am on Friday. (this was a week earlier that I found this out).

After scrambling a little bit, we decided to leave San Diego Thursday night, and driven until we found a hotel that we could stay at along the way. Then drive the rest of the way Friday morning.

we found a hotel in Livermore approximately 60 miles from San Francisco. Daddy insisted that we get up early because we might have needed more than 3 hours to drive the 60 miles. When it was all said and done, we arrived in San Francisco, at the hotel with more than an hour to spare,

I headed for my judges meeting at 11:00, while PuP and Daddy went back to the room to nap. After my meeting, we headed down to the boot blacking area for “First Shine”, the official opening of the Bootblack competition. Each of the people competing were amazing in their own way. I learned something from each of them. I also learned something from each of the amazing judging panel, Pony, IMsBB 2009, Tim Starkey IMrBB 2010 and Red Warrior, ICBB 2010. This was a great panel of judges.

At 5:30, I had my first major talley task. We had to count ballots for the boot blacks. That was an interesting bit of work 🙂

I was off for the rest of the evening, but we had the first part of the contest starting soon, so I rushed up to the room ate something, changed and we zipped down to the contest.

We had a lot of fun that evening, and after the first part of the contest, we went to the San Francisco Eagle — which may wind up closing. Huge bummer that.

We hung out with Ms International Olympus Leather who is a very fun person!

We headed back to the hotel around 1:00 am, and sacked out for the night.

I had to be at the opening for the Bootblack competition Saturday morning, so I was up and moving at 8:30 am.

I spent some time answering work emails after the opening, but spent most of my day around the boot black area. It was a lot of fun to watch and learn.

My talley work continued at 3:30 pm when I had to count the second day of ballots, and then we took the judges binders to tabulate their scores and identify a winner. It was kind of odd to go to the contest that evening knowing who the winner of the bootblack competition was.

The contest was fun, and all in all not that different from others I have been to.

After the contest, we zipped up stairs, got our toy bag and then went to the play space to play with PuP. That was a lot of fun. From there, we wandered to one of the hospitality parties, and then to the room as the day caught up with us.

Sunday was a fun lazy day. I bought a new Cat — actually Daddy found it for me because he was tired of me borrowing his! PuP got a new toy that we would use later at e bar on him.

At 3:00, ABW hosted a hospitality party that was a blast!

Dakota and Kim were flying out at 10:00 pm or so, so we all headed to the eagle to hang out and have fun. It was great!

We headed back to the room around 10:30, ordered some food delivery, and crashed put for the night.

Monday morning, we checked out and headed for home. Along the way we stopped at Harris Ranch for lunch and had excellent steaks!

I look forward to returning to IMsL next year!

San Diego Leather Pride

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Each year, for the past little while, San Diego Leather Pride has run for approximately 10 days.

We start with All Clubs Night Thursday, the Ms meet and greet Friday, the Ms contest Sat, and brunch and kinky classes on Sunday. Followed the next Thursday by the Titleholder Cocktails Thursday, the mr meet and greet Friday, the contest on saturday and the victory brunch and after glow party on Sunday.

This is a hell of a schedule, because there are also those events that only constants and judges do. So if you are on the committee, or judging, it makes for a long two weeks.

I serve on the. SDLP committee, and for the first part, was a very busy boy. Dakota flew in from the east coast, and was head judge for the Ms contest. It was the first time that Daddy was able to meet her. They got along fantastically.

Before I knew it, it was time to see Dakota off o. Her trip home, and the second half of Leather Pride to commence. During this part, I was a judge for the Mr contestants, so I was still q busy boy.

Leather Pride was great success and I enjoyed, as I usually do, being actively involved, as well as being part of the judging panel.

Fri March 31 – Smoke Out

Saturday, April 2nd, 2011

As I stood in the Buffalo tonight, something occurred to me. Part of this thought comes from talking to Utah Rox. He commented that San Diego was one of the few cities that still had a real leather bar — the San Diego Eagle located at 3040 North Park Way. Utah was there judging the Ms San Diego Leather contest during the first part of San Diego Leather Pride. Don’t get me wrong, our Eagle is a great bar, but it certainly is not a leather bar as I remember them back in the 90s.

But that got me thinking. As I looked around the Buffalo tonight, it dawned on me that Runs such as this, contest weekends such as MAL harken back to the days when a leather bar was filled with men in leather — doesn’t mean that every man there was a leather man, but you had a higher percentage chance of finding one.

These weekends take me back to a time when men did not go to a leather bar unless they were wearing leather… At the very least, a man in levis, belt, boots and a tshirt.

It makes me a little sad that it takes events to get the leather men out to our bars. It makes meant to stand up and say to my brothers and sisters — get out from behind your computer, make this weekend a special event for YOU, support you local leather bar, and show the twinks what it means to be in a leather bar.

So far this has been a good weekend. We caught up with our friends Tom and Paul from the UK and Mark from Canada.

Mr Palm Springs Leather

Sunday, November 21st, 2010

Mr Palm Springs Leather

Brought to you by the Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert

Daddy, Tiger and Cumho tires!
For this event I actually did take some pictures. But can’t find my camera cord right now, pictures will be coming soon!

Because of a commitment to the Hard Edge, we were not able to make it to Palm Springs until Saturday afternoon. We had the honor of being transported to Palm Springs by Tiger and her van “Lucie” who rides on for Cumho tires. — This is a running joke in San Diego, so I had to mention it here! We arrived with enough time to pick up Duff and have a bit of dinner before heading out to the contest.

We headed out for the contest at the Palm Springs convention center. We got there with a little time beforehand to say hi to people and for Tiger and I to hand out some passes for San Diego Leather Pride coming up in March of 2011 (for more information you can go to Mr San Diego Leather. It was great seeing so many familiar faces there!

We enjoyed the contest, and all three contestants did a great job representing their own titles while competing for the Mr. Palm Springs title. No two contests are alike, and I have to say that the Mr Palm Springs contest is a top notch affair. The work that went into putting this contest on was impressive.

After the contest, we headed back to the hotel and spent a quiet evening. Surprising huh? But Daddy and I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to spend time together, so we took advantage of that.

On Sunday, we met up with Jose (American Leather Man 1992), Randy (American Leather Man 2008), Alex, (American Leather Man 2009), and Louie (American Leather Man 2010) for an ABW photo shoot. It was a fun experience! I am looking forward to seeing the pictures!!

On the way home, we were treated to a fantastic sunset. And I got a totally unexpected totally cool shot that I wanted to share here.

Sunset headed homecool camera trick on the road

Mr International Rubber

Saturday, November 20th, 2010

Mr International Rubber

My First Rubber Event

Sister from Germany

This was the first Rubber event that I have attended. So I was definitely looking forward to it. My puppy who is in to rubber was originally going to attend the event with me, but he could not because of work.

I flew in the day before the event started, on Thursday. I was expecting to have some work related meetings during the day on Friday, but those wound up being canceled.

I stayed with Dean and John for the weekend. Dean is the producer for the American Brotherhood weekend. I was re-introduced to Jason Hendrix who is IML 2004. He is a really great guy, and I enjoyed getting to know him better!

Friday, after a late breakfast, Jason, Dean and I loaded up Dean’s car with the leather that we were going to sell at the Chicago Rubbermen booth and headed down to the vendor mart.

After getting everything situated at the booth, I wandered around the vendor mart and tried out one of the vacuum racks, as well as trying on (and ultimately buying) some rubber. I purchased a pair of rubber shorts and a rubber shirt!

The evening progressed with a “Greet the Meat” where the attendees had the opportunity to meet the contestants and socialize before the contest started.

One of the things that stands out in my mind is the relaxed fun atmosphere that was pervasive throughout the contest weekend. No one took themselves to seriously, and just about everywhere I turned, open friendly smiles abounded.

The introduction of contestants was nice to watch. Nine in all, from the US, and 3 other countries! Eddie, the emcee was fantastic, and very entertaining.

After the first part of the contest, everyone headed out to the Cell Block for an after party. It was fun, and only mildly crowded. I spent the evening chatting and flirting with various people from all over the country, and world, before finally calling it a night and heading back to Dean and John’s.

Saturday, I got up, had breakfast with Jason, and then we headed down to the vendor mart. I trailed behind Jason, watching him move through the crowd, flirting, talking and generally having fun. I was introduced to so many people that I will probably never remember everyone’s name! The vendor mart in full swing was interesting to explore, and so very tempting to spend way to much money!!

Saturday night I did remember to eat! Jason and I had dinner at a Thai restaurant before heading back to the house to get ready for the evening. My iPad came in handy as Jason was a tallymaster, and used it to help tally the scores for the evening. I stayed close, in case Jason had any questions or the iPad started acting goofy for some reason.

The second part of the contest opened with a parody of a Lady Gaga song that had everyone laughing! The contest was fast paced and kept my attention throughout. From the games that were played with the audience, to the performances of each of the contestants, it was indeed a superb contest and fascinating to watch. By the end, I wasn’t sure who would win!

Congratulations to G-Man from Georgia on becoming the new Mr International Rubber!

After the contest, everyone headed to the Jackhammer and Touches for the after party, and what an after party it was! I had a lot of fun. One of the very special people I met at this event is Sister Politecca (pictured above). What an amazing person!

Unfortunately, I never did take any pictures other than the one above. I was to busy talking, smiling and drooling to get the camera out!!

Sunday morning (ish) I got up and Dean, Jason and I went to breakfast at Cafe Too. This is a restaurant that works with the homeless, and rehab organizations to help train people in new skills to give people a second chance. The food was oh-my-God amazing, and the service very friendly and good!

After breakfast, we headed down to the vendor mart and packed up the remaining leather. While Dean and Jason transported it back to the house, I stayed and spent a last few minutes at the vendor mart before heading to Side Tracks for show tunes (the final unofficial event for the weekend). Dean and Jason showed up a little later and we hung out at the bar for a bit before it was time to head back to the house.

I flew home monday afternoon with my head still swimming with visions of hot men in rubber dancing in my head.

A special thank you to Dean and John for allowing me to stay with them, and to Jason for taking me under his wing for the weekend and to Rubbewili for producing such an amazing event! I definitely want to go back next year, and bring my puppy with me next time!!

Leatherati Interview

Saturday, November 20th, 2010

While I was attending the Mr Palm Springs Leather contest put on by the Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert,  Loren from Leatherati asked to do a quick 5 minute interview with me!

Thank you Loren for doing that!  I had a lot of fun!

So Cal Leatherwoman 2010-11 contest

Friday, October 8th, 2010

The Southern California Leather Woman contest is a great event! I was honored to be asked to judge the contest along with Amy B, So Cal Leatherwoman 2006 (the head judge), Olga, producer of Desire, Andie from PSLOD and West, VP of the LA boys of Leather.

Kathleen, the outgoing SCLW held a fundraiser / step-down party at the Bullet bar on friday night, so we headed up to Van Nuys Friday to participate in the event.

It took us 4 hours to get up there! Traffic was pretty hideous, but the time went quickly thanks to our traveling companions. Tiger, Ms San Diego Leather 2010, Wish, Daddy and I piled in to Tiger’s van and off we went around 3:30 pm or so.

We stopped along the way at a diner called Ozzies for dinner. We definitely recommend it! Then it was back on the road. Of course, I finally fell asleep about 10 minutes from the hotel.

After checking in, we headed out to the bar.

When we got there, I received a number of compliments on the tweets I made on our way up. There were many funny moments I managed to capture!

After making the rounds and saying hi, I jumped right in helping to sell raffle tickets, and then while the wet t-shirt contest was going on, I handled the door. In between — Daddy and I entered the boot worship contest. But sadly we lost to the amazing Spike and Amyy *woof* what a combination, and Wish and her partner. I sat back, watched and drooled, and picked up a number of great tips!

The evening finally caught up with us and we headed back to the hotel. We were asleep very quickly.

Saturday started with the Judges luncheon, so I met Amy at her room.


Amy was wearing her “bunchy, femmy, casual” look, and I received many requests for a photo of her.

We headed out to the luncheon at the Cheese Cake Factory, where we met up with the rest of the judges.

Ok, so thats not a picture of the judges at the luncheon, but it is a picture of all of us together!

After a delicious lunch, we headed back to the hotel and did the contestant interviews. It was very interesting to listen to the questions from the other judges and to learn more about the contestant, Serene.

After interviews, I got together with Olga and Blu for a drink and to talk about their website! We had a great time! They are amazing people.

I headed back to the room, and helped Wish and Tiger change rooms (they moved next to us!)

We headed to dinner at a chicken place, and coincidently several of the other judges were right next door at the sushi place!

Then it was off to the contest! This year’s theme was “Alice in Kinkland” and it was! There was the Tea Party, and a Mad Hatter room!


The first part of the evening was a meet and greet where and an opportunity to make mad hatter hats. So, knowing that Tiger would not have the opportunity to make one for herself, I made her one for her!

I think it came out very nice!

Of course, everyone insisted I try it on too.

After fun was had by all and everyone got the opportunity to meet the contestant, it was time forr the event of the evening.

The contest was very well put together, and Serene did extremely well. From the way
she dressed to the way she carried herself, and spoke she was a joy to watch and judge. When the tally master totaled the points, she had more than enough to be awarded the title.

At the end of the contest, she was awarded the title So Cal Leather Woman 2010-11.

After the contest ended there was a play party. We decided to get something to eat instead. It was Tiger, Wish, Daddy, Joanne and me. We laughed through the entire meal! It was a lot of fun.

We headed back to the event and helped tear down the play party before finally going back to the hotel and caching some z’s.

Sunday morning, we all met at Cafe 50’s for a celebratory / thank you brunch. Duff presented her new titleholder with ‘everything she will need in the coming year.’ and PuP brought Lammie, so I got to have some fun and get a few pictures with Lammie. It’s been a long time!

After brunch we piled in to Tigers van for the ride home.

A good event with good friends makes for a great time!

Thank you Duff for all that you do! And Tiger, Wish and Daddy, you make the time fly!

Stay tuned for SCLW Funnies — Coming soon!

Folsom Street Fair

Monday, September 27th, 2010

We arrived in San Francisco Saturday afternoon. We had a quick snack as we were all hungry, and then stretched out to relax for a while before we thought about doing anything.

After napping for a little while, we decided to go out and see what was going on. We stopped first at Chaps II, and had a drink. It was fairly quiet there, so we headed over to the Eagle.

On the way there, we stopped in at a sandwich place and had a Meatball sub.

At the Eagle, we met up with Lenny and Oz, a friend of his from Phoenix. We also met the Florida Leather boy from 1997 — we were actually at his contest! We also ran in to Lance, Mr San Francisco Leather, and Sir Hugh International Leather Sir.

All in all it was a fun evening, and we wound up staying out much later than we planned to!

We got up Sunday morning at around 8:00 am to get ready for brunch at Donna Sachet’s.

We were expecting some problems with traffic, so left for the brunch at 9:15, and wound up being almost 20 minutes early!

We were outside smoking when we met up with Stephano. We have talked with him in the past and it was good to catch up with him again.

Utah Rox, Mr. International Olympus Leather came out from inside. He was another one who expected traffic and was early. We chatted for a bit and decided to head in to the house. It’s a beautiful home and the brunch was fantastic. We (Daddy, Tiger and I) met up with many people that we know and it was a nice kickoff to Folsom.

We left the brunch around 11:15, and had enough time to do a quick run through of the fair before it got crowded, and the Titleholder announcement that occurred at 12:40 (approximately?) Lance did a great job announcing all of the current titleholders.

After that was over, Daddy, Tiger and I headed back to the hotel to get out of our “high holy cow” leather and get into something cooler. Tiger wore her title vest and jeans, Daddy and I opted for vests, jeans and chaps. Of course, I wore my sash as well.

We took a taxi back to the fair, and wandered from 8th St back to 12th St. It was packed. WOW. All three of us volunteered at the Alameda County Leather Corps Margarita booth helping out by filling glasses with ice, pouring drinks, filling the pitchers and performing body guard services during a bank run.

I had a lot of fun talking with Tyler while we were working. I also had fun people watching as we worked.

In the end, we left around 5:00 to see what was still going on, and headed for the Eagle. There was a huge line there, so we tried the Lone Star, but there was a huge line there as well.

At that point, we decided to wait in line, but if a taxi came by we would head back to the hotel. Tiger obviously wanted to head back to the hotel as she was flagging down every taxi that came by, even standing out in the middle of the street!

A taxi came before we got in the bar, so we headed back to the hotel. Once there, first thing on our agenda: FOOD!

We went to a sushi place and looked at the menu. We decided to have Italian because daddy & tiger could not get meatloaf & mashed potatoes.

So, having had dinner we returned to the room, and packed everything up for the morning.

It’s 9:00 pm on Folsom night, and the only thing I can think of is stretching out and sleeping. Does that mean I am getting old?